I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry. When my Aimee died in November, the box metaphor really helped. Please accept my condolences.
The “ball in a box” metaphor explains that grief over a dog’s death is like a box with a pain button and a ball inside. Initially, a large, uncontrollable ball hits the button constantly, causing intense, frequent pain. Over time, the ball shrinks, hitting the button less often, but the pain remains just as intense when it does.
Key Aspects of the Metaphor
The Box (Life): Represents your daily life, which continues despite the loss.
The Ball (Grief): Represents the pain of losing your pet, which changes in size over time.
The Button (Pain Triggers): Represents memories, sounds, or places that trigger overwhelming grief.
Initial Grief: The ball is huge, filling the box and constantly hitting the button, leading to constant, overwhelming sadness.
Long-Term Grief: The ball shrinks, meaning the button is hit less frequently, allowing for more “normal” days, though unexpected triggers can still cause sudden, intense pain.
This metaphor helps explain that while grief never truly disappears, it becomes more manageable over time.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I feel your pain, it’s so hard , I’ve lost my chow muffin, she was my life and I understand what you’re going through. Love Gail x
Dear Nagi. My heart is breaking for you over losing your beautiful fur baby Dozer. I cried when I found out. He was a gorgeous, entertaing & decerning food taster. Your heart will heal, but always ache. Sending you hugs & love. Hugs & love for Dozer
Thank you for sharing the life with Dozer with us. May his memories always warm your heart. OXOX
Nagi he knew exactly what you were wanting to say to him. Dogs don’t need actual words, they know, just know. I understand this pain and I hope you give yourself time. At some point you will look back with love and gain some joy even with the grief. He will always be your Dozer and always there in your soul. Take care xx
What a beautiful honour to be loved by such a beautiful boy. Dozer knew he was loved and he loved you ten fold. Take your time to grieve your beautiful boy. Sending you love Nagi.
Love your recipes and books. Keep going
Dear Nagi, So very sorry to hear this news. I know how difficult a time it is for you as we lost our boy in December. Thank you for sharing Dozer with everyone. Love and thoughts to you, Annette 💔
So very very sorry for the passing of Dozer. The heart ache you feel is the testament to the love you both had for each other. Rest in peace beautiful Dozer, people all over the world loved to hear your mums stories about you.
Hi. I prefer that my comment is just to you and not published.
It is impossible to measure the love, joy, company and laughter brought into your life during the 14 years with Dozer. I completely understand your tears at losing such a loved companion. The photo of you two standing together looking at the sea is beyond special.
I confess that I love animals more than humans. They love us no matter how we feel and act. They greet us daily as if we’ve been away for years rather than just hours.
You will never forget the love and time that you and Dozer spent together.
The loss is incredibly sad, but the memories will last for ever.
RIP, beautiful Dozer.
Sweetest, beautiful, adorable Dozer, you will be so sorely missed. I am so sorry Nagi for your loss. Thank you for bringing such a wonderful ray of sunshine into our lives. Sending you a hug
Nagi, you gave Dozer his best life. ♥️♥️♥️
RIP beautiful boy. 😢
Dear Nagi,
There are no words that can help with this grief journey you are on; as has been said already, the deeper the love the greater the pain of the loss. Dozer was so deeply loved and what an amazing life he had with you. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your beautiful Dozer with your readers – I have loved reading about what he was getting up to and seeing his photos in your cookbooks.
Take good care of you Nagi – you and your Dozer have touched so many lives.
With deep sympathy for your loss,
Elizabeth
Rest in peace Dozer! Dear Nagi, your love and tenderness will accompany Dozer forever! Be well… time will diminish pain and will offer many beautiful memories.
Nagi—what a beautiful and loving tribute to Dozier. I loved reading all your posts about him and your adventures together. I am so sorry for your loss but know he is resting in the heavenly arms of the angels and free from all pain and discomfort. God bless and comfort you in your sadness❣️🙏
My heart goes out to you I also had 3 labbies that I had to say goodbye to….. saddest days of my life
So sorry to hear of Dozer’s passing. Always loved to find out what the two of you were up to as well as the amazing recipes. Take comfort in knowing he had an amazing life with you as his Mum and he will always be loved by everyone whose life he touched in person or via posts. I understand your pain at Dozers loss and send you warm hugs and sincere condolances in your time of grief. He will be with you in spirit forever just as my beloved dog is still with me.
Take care of yourself, Viki
Thank you for loving Dozer so fiercely. All dog Moms are grieving with you. I lost my Pomeranian when he was 14years old. The pain of that loss has turned into beautiful memories over the years. I even tell stories about him to my new sausage dog.
I’m so incredibly sorry to hear about Dozer. I know how hard it is to lose a fur baby, and feel your pain in all of your words above. He has given you so much love and so many memories all of which will stay forever in your heart. Xxx
I am so sad for you Nagi,,,it will take ages for you to look at those beautiful photos but one day you will. All your readers will remember him forever and miss him along with you