I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
Dozer is in doggy heaven now and out of his pain misery. You will rejoin with him when God brings you two back together again. Meanwhile, thank you for all these years that you shared him with all of us. We will always remember him and know as dog lovers ourselves, he will remain a most part of us all, thanks to you. He’s now looking down upon you and us keeping an eye on you for the the remaining time til you and Dozer, and all of our beloved animals, rejoin as one big giant family when God decides to make this happen. Lots of sloppy wet kisses from our most wonderful dogs to you and Dozer, and thank you both for all these years of love and sharing Dozer with us all. He’ will never be forgotten. He provided you with lots of wonderful recipes to share with us from all over the world and he will always be in our hearts. God Bless you both to the ends of this earth til we meet again.
Dear Nagi, I’ve spent many nights over the years in my kitchen following your recipes along aside Sammy my 5 year old golden retriever.
I hope you cherish all the memories close to heart and reflect on the beautiful years of joy Dozer has brought to you.
My heart breaks for you.
R.i.p dozer.
Oh Nagi every post I see my heart just break’s more. Your beautiful Dozer loved and adorned by a Village around the world bigger than Ben Hur.
Thank you for sharing Dozer with us. If only for our last day in this world we could all climb the stairs to The Bridge together paw in hand as one 💔
NAGI …It broke my heart to learn that your beloved DOZER has passed away. I am so very sad. He was such a trooper. All the times he got sick he always miraculously recovered. This time he just didn’t have the strength to do so. You were the best mom to him and took such good care of him. You have wonderful memories of your boy and know he will always be with you in spirit. I loved reading all your Life of Dozer posts. It always put a smile on my face. I pray that the Good Lord gives you the strength and Grace to get through this very sad time. He is going to be truly missed. R.I.P Sweet DOZER.❤️🙏
So sad for you Nagi, he was such a beautiful boy and best friend for you. I have smiled so often watching him, over many years. Thankyou for sharing him with all of us.
Holding you close in my heart Nagi, as I know how dreadfully painful the silence afterwards is. You’re right about your fierce pain being because of your fierce love for him. They know this love from us is life. You were his life. Know deep in your heart that he felt no pain but pure love for you – sending his last breath of love to you not to cry for him- because he’ll never really leave you Nagi. As you breathe he is there in your heart breathing with you. Cry yourself to sleep at night (I do!) but always remember he’s nearby as you fall asleep. It hurts when you first wake up- oh that empty space, that silence. It smooths out like the tide going out, then it will come back like a tsunami at times.
Ride the waves of grief but always hold close the truth that he’s there inside of you forever. Much love tears and hugs sweet dear one.
Your vet tech friend in California.
Beautiful Nagi, my heart breaks for you💔Dozer will never leave your beautiful heart, love like that is forever.
Yes, one day in the future I promise you will have another fur baby🐶 I know I’ve experienced the same loss. 😔
I’m sending big hugs and prayers, and yes you will meet again one day and those hugs will be glorious.
Sending love xxx
I feel your pain .with dogs we get so many wonderful days and one very very bad day
Sorry to hear Nagi, we share some of your pain ❤️
I’ve followed Dozer for years. I’m so sorry to hear of his passing. He may not be with you physically but he is with you always. XX
Deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved Dozer. Sending hugs.
I’m so heartbroken for you Nagi. What a life you both have shared. It’s easy to see what he meant to you, but also he loved you so much that he tried to hang on for you!! He is at peace now and will be forever loved by us all.
Nagi, your beautiful heartfelt message to your forever loving boy Dozer is perfect. Yes they have so much unconditional love & ask for nothing in return. Our fur babies fill our hearts with joy & love. It’s definitely one of the hardest days to overcome. The sadness & to grieve them has no time limit. The tears will flow & the lump in your throat will eventually lessen, but you have him in your heart & that will never change. We need to be thankful that they find their person & we them. He will live on in you heart forever more.. RIP Dozer 💙
Thank you for all the joy you brought to the world Dozer! Best boy!
To Dozer, you lived such an awesome life, with so many people that loved you. Your mum loved you most of all and we all saw that. Now you get to share all that love in doggy heaven.
To Nagi, my heart goes out to you at this time, with tears in my eyes I feel your loss of your best friend. Dozer touched us all as did your love for him. He will always be with you as you move forward. When life hurts, think of Dozer. Our doggos are always our lifeline when life gets hard.
💙💙💙💙🩷🩷🩷
Sorry for your loss Nagi.
I lost my dog at nearly 14 years too 🙁
It is so very hard……
Nagi, I’m heartbroken for you. You gave Dozer a most beautiful and well loved life. I hope that gives you some comfort, maybe not now, but when you can bear it.
My deepest condolences to you Nagi, (your husband & all your team…that knew Dozer well).
As you streamed tears writing your letter to Dozer, I streamed tears reading it.
The tears will one day turn into smiles…but, for now, grieve, & then you will start to heal. I am sure that Dozer went knowing that His human loved him unconditionally as he loved her.
Please God, give you the strength to endure the pain.
Dearest Nagi it comes as a big shock the depth of grief, Dozer will always be with you